I had just been dumped for the first time a few weeks ago, and man was I “depressed” about it. My three-week relationship with a guy who worshiped me COULDN’T be over. There’s no way he could have already tired of me!
It was a friend’s 16th birthday party, and I hadn’t even bothered R.S.V.Ping. I lied to her, said I might have family plans, and she told me that’s okay, if I could make it I could just show up. Really, I just wanted to buy some time.
And the whole day, as I laid in my bed cocoon, I pondered the pros and cons of going to her party. Pro- I wouldn’t have to stare at the fucking wall. Con- I would have to get dressed. Pro- I might meet interesting people. Con- I would have to move.
In the end, I decided to go. I was so self-conscious, didn’t quite know anybody proper, and didn’t even want to try to socialize. At one point, outside, I decided to lay on the concrete by the pool, bundled up in one of my brother’s sweatshirts. I contemplated the stars. Eventually another girl friend joined me, and soon, you, a guy I didn’t even know decided to lay there with us. You listened to me softly whine about my “ex-boyfriend” and how lousy he was, and asked me what his name was. I told you.
"Watch this," you said, and before I could blink you snatched my cell phone from my hands and searched my phonebook for my ex, then dialed the number from your phone. The phone rang, and you politely asked for him by name. When he got on the line, you screamed into the phone, "STOP FUCKING PLAYING GAMES WITH HER YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DON’T DESERVE HER! YOU UGLY PRICK!"
Horrified and shocked, me and my girlfriend stared at you in stunned silence as you hung up and burst out laughing. Never in my life have I witnessed anybody do something like this. Once you had calmed down, you asked, “So….who else has pissed you off recently?”
My girlfriend gave you a name, and you went for it, and I gave you another name, and you went for it, and back to her. When it was my turn, I gave you the name of my on-again-off-again puppy love, and you dialed the number.
Now this was back in the day when not every high school kid had a cell phone, so more often than not, you would call their house phone. And of course, my puppy love’s mother picked up the phone. Puppy love was not available, could she take a message? “Uh yeah,” you started casually. “Can you tell him to go smash his face into a fucking brick? Thanks!” and hung up the phone.
I have never met another person like you in my life since.