June 2011
46 posts
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High School Memory #1,252
I had just been dumped for the first time a few weeks ago, and man was I “depressed” about it. My three-week relationship with a guy who worshiped me COULDN’T be over. There’s no way he could have already tired of me!
It was a friend’s 16th birthday party, and I hadn’t even bothered R.S.V.Ping. I lied to her, said I might have family plans, and she told me...
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today
You never did own your own dog.
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“I have discovered that most people have no one to talk to, no one, that is, who...”
– Walker Percy, The Moviegoer
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today
You only have, like, another year before the real apocalypse comes. And that will be the show of a lifetime. You may as well wait.
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High School Memory #92,121
We had met you and your buddies the night before, at a gas station. We were literally uninvited to a party, so we sat in the parking lot chewing gum and wondering what on earth we should do. You guys pulled on the other side of the pump we idled at, and we noticed you all because, of course, you were cute. A quick run inside: gas and cigarettes and beer. “They look like they know...
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Sooo… does anybody else have a July 3 birthday coming up?
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today
At least wait for the next MoneySaver catalogue to come in the mail. You can get two more coupons for wings and beer. Then you can do it.
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“but no value has been put on human life;
it is given to us free and taken...”
– carson mccullers- the ballad of sad cafe
Carson McCullers is a BEAUTIFUL writer who writes such sad and wonderful stories. If you haven’t had a chance to read her yet…MAKE ONE.
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today
If you get a few more university degrees, then people can really be upset because you were going to do big things with your life. So stay in school for a few more years. Who knows? Everything might just work out after all.
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High School Memory #576
October 5, 2004
We had been dating for a few weeks now. You were my first somewhat serious boyfriend— as in, we hadn’t broken up after two weeks like my first one. My mother, however, did not like you, so in order to see each other, usually I had to sneak out. I wasn’t driving yet, and your car was broken, so bumming rides and/or walking places was the norm.
You were cute, and...
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today
You would have to clean all the bad pictures of yourself off of Facebook. And God knows that would take forever. Best to just wait awhile.
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“Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best...”
– Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
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High School Memory #1,000
I thought you were gorgeous. But unfortunately, you were dumb as a fucking railroad spike.
But I still totally wanted to make out with you.
So once all the senior, and junior, and most sophomore girls wanted nothing to do with you anymore and I actually had somewhat of a chance, I went to work.
And we flirted shamelessly in the hallways, and after-school, and at lunchtime. I thought,...
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today
Your boyfriend still loves you. He would probably be really sad, even if nobody else was.
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High School Memory #323
We used to be friends.
You transferred to my small, private high school in the middle of January of junior year— an awkward time. Everyone in this school was so cliquey, so judgmental, so quick to talk shit.
There were only about thirty girls in our class, and they were a tight group to get into. Good luck trying to find female friends at this school. It only takes about two months of them...
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today
There might not be Chinese food in the afterlife. That’s a risk you just don’t want to take.
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“the things other people have put into my head, at any rate, do not fit together...”
– kurt vonnegut— breakfast of champions
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Things I will never get back.... part 1.
(in no particular order and with no definitive ending….)
— my beautiful white and gray stuffed owl that I got for my eleventh birthday from my mother. I slept with it nearly every night. And when my best friend was moving across the country my sophomore year of high school, we switched stuffed animals because it would always smell like each others’ houses. Well, she came back,...
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today....
You will never know who killed JonBenet Ramsey.
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Reason Not to Kill Yourself Today
Don’t you want to see the new Harry Potter movie?
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“What was astonishing to him was how people seemed to run out of their own being,...”
– Phillip Roth, American Pastoral— sad but lovely book!
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College Memory #152
It was finally happening. We had only been talking about it the last seven years of our friendship, but today, we were actually going to do it.
Matching tattoos.
The designs had been drawn up, we had meticulously studied our bodies for the most appropriate location, and we had researched all the tattoo parlors in town. Our money was saved up and we took dozens of pictures of our body parts...
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the death of a place
The first summer we knew each other, we felt so alive. You made me feel like I could do anything. That my jokes were funny. That my ideas were genius. That the only thing that separated us from our dreams was how much gas was in your truck— which could be easily fixed on payday.
We would sit at the dock, our spot, pondside, and decimate 6-packs of bitch beer. And we would lay there and...
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“It’s a funny thing about the modern world. You hear girls in the toilets...”
– Zadie Smith— White Teeth
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An open letter to those with daddy issues
Well, we survived it again. Another Hallmark holiday praising fathers who love golfing, grilling, and being family men. Our brainwaves were zapped with thousands of images of rock-solid dads and daddy’s girls and men with newborn babies excited about the future. Commercials were aired about ties, razors, cars, phones…everything that you should buy for your dad to show your appreciation...
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College memory #399
We had just started being friends. But it was one of those awkward moments where you were an older guy with a long-term girlfriend, and I was living far away from my long-term boyfriend and we just weren’t sure how to start this off.
“We can go to a bar,” you suggested. A good place to start.
“I don’t have a fake,” I replied. I was only 19.
“Let’s...
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“here i am, a bundle of past recollection and future dreams, knotted up in a...”
– sylvia plath
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“A fault in the scenery,
A face in the audience,
An irruption of...”
– E.M. Forster
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College Memory #27,229
I had just gotten my wisdom teeth out a few weeks earlier in my hometown, but I was already back at my first apartment. Surprisingly, my pain tolerance was a lot higher than anyone imagined, so I still had a plethora of wonderful pain killers stashed in my refrigerator.
It was a boring day at the end of June, I didn’t have to work and nothing much was going on, so I just decided to pop one...
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High School Memory #11
Middle school to high school was scary. Public middle school to private high school was much scarier.
Transferring to a private school sucks because everyone there has known each other since, like, birth, and really nobody has any interest in making new friends. Plus, private school clothes are much, much different than public school clothes.
So, obviously, I couldn’t have been too...
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College Memory #4,774
You were such a pain in my ass.
Every other day, you picked fights with all the other campers. You weren’t even trying to raise your status with these kids, or prove your masculinity, or even defend a just cause. You simply felt like picking fights. And most of the time, you nearly got your ass kicked.
You were one of the kids who—when driving home in the evening—made me wonder...
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College life of an education major funding...
1. Spend freshman and sophomore year focuses on classes and making friends. This will be easy! 100-level courses are a Godsend. You can write an A+ paper and still make it to the club on time. Get rejected for awesome jobs working with kids, but figure it’s okay, it’s just because you’re too young.
2. Get sick at the beginning of junior year. Rack up $400+ of doctor’s...
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College memory #451,833
We were standing at the top of the parking deck, skateboards in hand. You loved skateboarding, wanted so badly to be sponsored. I had skateboarded once in my life, and nearly cracked my skull open doing so. I really did not want to skateboard down this parking deck, but I just thought you were such a cool person and wanted to impress you, so I pretended like I was really courageous and excited....
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High school memory #45,925
We sat together in the back row of Algebra class freshman year. I never learned a thing. I was always distracted by you, since you were always so outgoing and attractive.
In the middle of March, I believe it was a Thursday afternoon, I was jerking my head around in my hands trying not to fall asleep. I hated having this class sixth period. Between my afternoon daze and the fact that I could never...
My friend
“I loved my friend He went away from me There’s nothing more to say The poem ends, Soft as it began- I loved my friend.” —Langston Hughes
